fast times at barrington high
by Xx U c h i h a K e d o s h ixX
Summary: Sakura, Ino and their friend’s wonderful texting times. Of dances, cheerleading, sexual crises’… Ah, teenagers. BarringtonHigh!verse


_**A/N- Oh, hey, It's me. XxU c h I h a K e d o s h ixX. Just back with another story. I'm not sure if this is gonna be a one shot or a story. Whatever. I think a story. Whatever. I wrote this for English class, actually….. Whatever. I think I said that already, but yeah. So uh. Continue!**_

**title: **fast times at barrington high  
**summary:** Sakura, Ino and their friend's wonderful texting times. Of dances, cheerleading, sexual crises'… Ah, teenagers. AU.  
**pairings: **SasuSaku, with mentions of SasuKarin, SuiKarin, TemaShikaIno, NejiTen and maybe some others.  
**warnings: **AU, some OOC, all in texts, insane randomness….:D  
**disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, or anything else in here besides the plot and the minor OOC-ness. :D

* * *

**To: Sakura  
From: Ino  
**Forehead, I demand you answer my question.**  
**_10:33 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**Sure, my darling love. It would be my pleasure. How can I be off assistance, Pig?**  
**_10:34 AM_

**To: Sakura  
From: Ino  
**…. Yeah, okay. You talk weird. WHATEVER. SO. For the new cheerleading outfits, what colors should they be? Black and red, black and blue or black and purple? Temari is on our squad, and as much as I hate her, I can't afford to lose her. Help?**  
**_10:37 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**It still amuses me that the girl who tried to steal your boyfriend is still on YOUR cheerleading squad. Ha. But, uh, black and red is WAY to goth… URK. Black and purple is cute, I guess. Black and blue is still not that great. Me, I say blue and purple would be adorable. Your choice, though.**  
**_10:40 AM_

**To: Sakura  
From: Ino  
**Thanks, so much help right there. YOU KNOW HOW I HATE DECISIONS. YOU MAKE LIFE DIFFICULT.**  
**_10:41 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**Thanks, I try.**  
**_10:42 AM_

**To: Temari, Karin, Tenten…  
From: Ino  
**Okay, so I've decided on the colors. And before you ask, no this could not wait until practice today. Because, um, PRACTICE is for PRACTICING. Anyway, so the colors I say we are going with is Light Blue and Purple. Because they'll look cute together. Says me. And as you know, I'm your captain. I hope this is okay by you.**  
**_10:48 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Temari  
**Fine, it's good enough. But that was long enough to be an email, you idiot…**  
**_10:50 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Karin  
**Good point, they'll look cute BY FAR. No wonder you're our captain!**  
**_10:50 AM_

**To: Karin  
From: Ino  
**….. Suck up….**  
**_10:52 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**Yo, make Karin go away, she's hanging on Sasuke like he's a trophy. Or something.**  
**_10:55 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**? Pig? You there?**  
**_10:59 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**Fine. Meanie. Some best friend I have.**  
**_11:04 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**OMG. THAT WAS SO EPIC!!!!**  
**_11:23 AM_

**To: Sakura  
From: Ino  
**What did you do this time, Forehead-girl? Sorry, btw, I was annoying my should-be boyfriend. Cause you know, technically, he's not mine. YET.**  
**_11: 25 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**Well, Karin was being her obnoxious self(Seriously, remind me WHY she's on your cheerleading squad? Please?), and so I went over to her, to piss her off(I mean, she was annoying Sasuke, too), and I had the BEST idea. I walked up to her, and was all like, 'So, Karin! How'd your HIV test scores come out?' And she froze up, and I was like, all OMG I JUST BROKE THE EVIL REDHEAD! Anyway, I continued on. 'Did you tell Suigetsu yet, honey? I can help you, if you want…', with the whole worried look on my face. Damn, I am a GOOD actress. So, anyway, everyone just like laughed their heads off. IT WAS AMAZING!**  
**_11:33 AM_

**To: Sakura  
From: Ino  
**…. Seriously?**  
**_11:35 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**FER serious.**  
**_11:35 AM_

**To: Sakura  
From: Ino  
**….. I LOVE YOU, LIKE WOAH.**  
**_11:36 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**I try.**  
**_11:36 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Karin  
**Keep your girlfriend on a leash, I was TRYING to get to Sasuke-kun!**  
**_11:38 AM_

**To: Karin  
From: Ino  
**Not my girlfriend. Not my problem.**  
**_11:39 AM_

**To: Karin  
From: Suigetsu  
**You don't really have AIDS, do you?**  
**_11:39 AM_

**To: Suigetsu  
From: Karin  
**…. You're a jerk.**  
**_11:40 AM_

**To: Sakura  
From: Sasuke  
**Thanks.**  
**_11:40 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**Sasuke. Text. Ino. HELP!**  
**_11:41 AM_

**To: Sasuke  
From: Ino  
**You… You…. JERK! WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH SAKU-PANTS!?**  
**_11:42 AM_

**To: Sakura  
From: Ino  
**Got it covered. Just say 'welcome.' Even you can handle that, I think.**  
**_11:42 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**You're a jerk. But thanks.**  
**_11:43 AM_

**To: Sasuke  
From: Sakura  
**Your welcome.**  
**_11:43 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.**  
**_11:44 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sasuke  
**….. Hn. Class is almost over, put your phone away. Sakura's a few seats from me, I don't want to hear her wailing when you get your phone taken away.**  
**_11:44 AM_

**To: Sasuke  
From: Ino  
**Well… HN RIGHT BACK ATCHA!**  
**_11:45 AM_

**To: Sakura  
From: Ino  
**So, Forehead. What are you wearing to the dance?**  
**_11:45 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**Not going. Go away right now.**  
**_11:46 AM_

**To: Sakura  
From: Ino  
**NOT OKAY, SAKURA. NOT. OKAY.**  
**_11:46 AM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**Deal. Look, I'm at lunch. You should be in class.**  
**_11:46 AM_

**To: Sakura  
From: Ino**

Dude. What the hell did they put in your drinks?! JEEZ.

_11:47 AM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Sakura**

I don't buy. Now go away, please. I have Ami to deal with.

_11:47 AM_

**To: Sakura**

**From: Ino**

I gotcha. See ya, Forehead-Girl.

_11:48 PM_

**To: Shikamaru**

**From: Ino**

Yo, Shika. What class do I have next?

_12:30 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Shikamaru**

You have Psych, with me and Pinky.

_12:31 AM_

**To: Sakura**

**From: Ino**

Shika just called you Pinky. Want me to do something about it?

_12:31 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Sakura**

I don't care(YES.)… But can I tell you about lunch? I need a favor.

_12:32 PM_

**To: Shikamaru**

**From: Ino**

Don't call her Pinky! And thanks.

_12:32 PM_

**To: Sakura**

**From: Ino**

Sure, Saki. Go ahead.

_12:33 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Shikamaru**

Whatever.

_12:33 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Naruto**

Yo, fix Sakura-chan over there. She's like… Dead or something. She's probably texting Ino, but do you know why?

_12:34 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Ino**

Alright, if it's taking Saku-pants THIS long to send a text, something's up. What happened at lunch?

_12:35 PM_

**To: Ino, Naruto**

**From: Sasuke**

A, Ino, how did you even get my number? B, Naruto, What do you mean, fix her? C, I don't know what happened….

_12:36 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Naruto**

Dude, Ino has your number? Probably got it from Shikamaru or Sakura-chan or something. But you don't? I would've thought you had something to do with it….

_12:36 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Ino**

Uh. I used to stalk you. Getting past that.

_12:36 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Sakura**

Remember how I totally called out Karin? Well, see… What happened is at lunch break, I can't believe it's the only one I don't have with you but I have with her, you know? But uhm anyways, first it was Ami who came up to me. I was trying to eat in silence(I hate Thursday lunches…)but then she totally started harassing me, just like when we were little. 'Forehead, you still have a huge forehead, eh?' and 'Wow, still as weak as you were back then? Where's YAMANAKA to protect you now?'. And you know that even though I've gotten a lot stronger(Or think I have, anyway.), I still freeze up when it comes to her insults without you there to help me out and back me up, like the wonderful bestie you are. So I kinda froze up, and Karin, and her evil gang… She kinda took control of my paralyzed state and totally called me out. 'Sasuke likes me better, you know. He asked me to the dance this year, you know…' and I can't figure out if it's true or not, and so now I'm crying in the bathroom. Damn.

_12:37 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Ino**

YOU ASKED KARIN TO THE DANCE. UCHIHA, YOU ARE DEAD.

_12:38 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Sasuke**

I did what? Oh, that. Yeah, uh, why?

_12:39 PM_

**To: Sakura**

**From: Ino**

Ohmigod, Sakura-chan! I'm SO sorry!!! Don't worry, I'll help you pound Ami into the next millennium. Seriously. She totally deserves it. And Karin is going DOWN. I promise you this. We will go to the dance, looking like WOAH, and Sasuke wouldn't know what hit him! And you, Saku-pants, your not weak. Your like, the strongest person I know. I mean like, I would be probably crying in the bathroom, too, like you, but like. Seriously. And like. Uh. You kick major ass. That thing you did earlier? MAJOR POINTS.

_12:42 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Ino**

You have 24 hours, Uchiha. Say your last goodbyes.

_12:42 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Sakura**

Thanks, Ino-chan. You're the best, really. And uh. Are you sure? About the make over thing…. I'm not sure…. But since you're you, I'm sure you can figure it out! Thanks, I'll see you in a few. Psych, right?

_12:42 PM_

**To: Sakura**

**From: Ino**

Gotcha, lover. Yeah, I'll see you in three. Or five. Or two. Or in a few. Yeah, that.

_12:43 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Naruto**

What did you do to Sasuke to make him freak out?

_12:44 PM_

**To: Naruto**

**From: Ino**

He's freaking out? Really? And this is when I commence in evil laughter. Whoo hoo. ….. Wait, what is he doing, anyway?

_12:45 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Naruto**

He's all like, glaring at the wall, and his phone, and me, and stuff. Yeah. And uh… He keeps saying 'Damn Yamanaka…' and stuff. Why?

_12:46 PM_

**To: Naruto**

**From: Ino**

Look, class is starting soon, and I need to console Saku-pants. I'll explain later, you moron. Bye.

_12:46 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Naruto**

Since when did you care about classes? Whatever, though. Kay, bye. See you next period, I guess.

_12:47 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Karin**

So, Sasuke-kun.

_12:50 PM_

**To: Karin**

**From: Sasuke**

Hn?

_12:50 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Karin**

You want to come over later?

_12:51 PM_

**To: Karin**

**From: Sasuke**

Hn. Maybe.

_12:52 PM_

**To: Shikamaru**

**From: Ino**

Yo, PH, you know where Saki is? I need to talk to her, about stuff.

_12:55 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Shikamaru**

Dunno. She's your best friend.

_12:56 PM_

**To: Shikamaru**

**From: Ino**

You're her other best friend. Besides, well Naruto. But he doesn't really count…. But still! What she doesn't tell me she tells you so go find her! I actually need this class!

_12:57 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Shikamaru**

True, you do want to be a psychotherapist… Fine, I'll go get her.

_12:58 PM_

**To: Sakura**

**From: Shikamaru**

Yo, Saki. Where are you, eh?

_1:00 PM_

**To: Shikamaru**

**From: Sakura**

Where I usually am when I skip.

_1:01 PM_

**To: Sakura**

**From: Shikamaru**

Coffee shop? Starbucks or DD?

_1:02 PM_

**To: Shikamaru**

**From: Sakura**

You know me too well, you and Ino. She needs psych, eh? I gotcha. Thanks, Shika.

_1:03 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Shikamaru**

Got her. I'll see you next period, I think. I'll report back what she says. Or, well, she will.

_1:05 PM_

**To: Shikamaru**

**From: Ino**

Thanks, love. Make sure Saku-pants is okay? Please?

_1:05 PM_

**To: Sakura**

**From: Ino**

Hope your alright. Make Shika buy you coffee. I'll see you soon, kay?

_1:05 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Sakura**

Will do.

_1:06 PM_

**To: Naruto**

**From: Sakura**

Sorry I'm not there, Naruto. I'm just not feeling that great. Lunch just wasn't okay for me today. So I apologize. And stuff. And please, can you give Sasuke a living hell? I beg of you? It's not okay if you don't, I won't forgive you. Thanks, Naruto. I just need to be alone right now. Well, not alone, per se. With Shikamaru and lots of coffee. Thanks.

_1:08 PM_

**To: Sakura**

**From: Naruto**

Sure, sure. I'll make sure Teme goes down FAR, kay Sakura-chan? And I hope you come back to next class, last class, cause your other crazy blonde friend, being Ino, is kinda freaking out, mumbling on and on next to me about, 'Sakura-chan's not okay!' and 'what did you do, Uchiha!?' and 'Karin's getting kicked off…' and 'Shika better make sure she's okay…' and stuff like that. Alright, Ibiki-sensei's coming over here, I've gotta go. Bye, Sakura-chan.

_1:10 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Ino**

What the fuck did you do to my Sakura-chan?! I'm going to murder you. That 24 hours? Just dropped down to until the end of this day.

_1:11 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Sasuke**

Shut it, Yamanaka. I didn't DO anything, okay? Now shut up and put your stupid blackberry away before you get us both in trouble.

_1:12 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Ino**

HN.

_1:12 PM_

**To: Sakura**

**From: Ino**

How are you, honey? Coming back anytime soon?

_1:16 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Sakura**

Not yet, Pig. Sorry. I'll be back later, though. And most likely caffeine high. Hopefully Shikamaru knows how to stop that…. Whatever, though. As I said, I'll be back to our dorms at the end of the day. Most likely.

_1:17 PM_

**To: Sakura**

**From: Ino**

But of course, Forehead. I'll see you when you get back, I'll be in our dorm probably gaming it on out.

_1:18 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Karin**

So, have you thought about my offer…?

_1:26 PM_

**To: Karin**

**From: Sasuke**

Hn. No.

_1:27 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Karin**

Mou, mou, Sasuke-kun!? Why notttttttttt!

_1:28 PM_

**To: Karin**

**From: Sasuke**

Don't you think you've hurt Sakura and Suigetsu enough?

_1:29 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Karin**

Mou, Sasuke-kun. What's what supposed to mean….

_1:30 PM_

**To: Karin**

**From: Sasuke**

Stop talking to me. Please.

_1:32 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Karin**

You… You're breaking up with me?!

_1:32 PM_

**To: Karin**

**From: Sasuke**

Aa. We were never together.

_1:33 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Sasuke**

Yo, Yamanaka. Call off your squad, and Shikamaru and Naruto and whoever else. Karin and I are over.

_1:35 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Ino**

Alright, UCHIHA. Why?

_1:36 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Sasuke**

Suigetsu was sitting across the room looking sad, and you said something about Sakura…

_1:37 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Ino**

…. FINE, UCHIHA. YOU SET ONE DIRTY LITTLE FINGER ON MY FOREHEAD, NARUTO AND I WILL DESTROY YOU.

_1:38 PM_

**To: Naruto**

**From: Sasuke**

Yo, Dobe. You know where Sakura is?

_1:40 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Naruto**

If I was next to you, I'd be glaring. So I'll glare at my phone as I type. You're a jerk, teme. Why should I tell you where Sakura-chan is, eh?

_1:41 PM_

**To: Naruto**

**From: Ino**

It's okay, Naruto. Sasuke is okay.

_1:41 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Naruto**

Kay. Thanks, Ino. Want me to put in a good word for you with Shikamaru?

_1:41 PM_

**To: Naruto**

**From: Sasuke**

Because I want to ask her something. Something very important. And if you tell me WHERE SHE IS, I'd like to do so in person.

_1:43 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Naruto**

Actually, Teme, I'm not sure where she is. But Ino says you're okay again, so I guess I'll tell you. She's pretty upset, Ami and Karin started like, wrecking her at lunch. About her… Insecurities. You remember them in elementary school, right?

_1:44 PM_

**To: Naruto**

**From: Sasuke**

I'm surprised you can spell that, Dobe. Fine, I'll ask Yamanaka.

_1:45 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Sasuke**

Hey, Yamanaka. Where's Haruno?

_1:46 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Ino**

Oi, don't refer to your future wife like that! And Forehead's getting coffee at Starbucks with Shika-kun. Go get her, Tiger! ….. Okay, NEVER. AGAIN.

_1:47 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Sasuke**

Aa.

_1:47 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Naruto**

Oi, Teme! Where are you?

_1:48 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Naruto**

Uh, SASUKE?

_1:49 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Naruto**

Fine, you know what, FINE. GOSH.

_1:50 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Naruto**

No seriously, Sasuke. I NEED you. You're fangirls are asking me if I've ever gone gay with you. I'm not gay, am I? I'd never be gay with you, right? Sasuke, COME BACK! OR TEXT BACK!!!!

_1:55 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Neji**

Uchiha, you're annoying blonde friend here is demanding help in a sexual crisis. Get back here.

_1:57 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Neji**

Oi, Uchiha!

_2:00 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Hinata**

Sasuke-san, seriously come back. Neji is like, flailing with Naruto, and Tenten's like dying inside. COME BACK.

_2:03 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Hinata**

Please, Sasuke-san, I'll pay your fangirls to go away…!

_2:05 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Hinata**

Sasuke…?

_2:07 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Tenten**

Yo, Uchiha.

_2:09 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Tenten**

OI UCHIHA. GET BACK HERE. TEXT. OR SOMETHING. MY BOYFRIEND THINKS HE MIGHT BE GAY. I NEED YOU.

_2:11 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Tenten**

Uchiha….?

_2:14 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Suigetsu**

Thanks, man. I owe you.

_2:15 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Suigetsu**

Sasuke…?

_2:18 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Suigetsu**

Come on. Uchiha Sasuke.

_2:21 PM_

**To: Sasuke**

**From: Suigetsu**

Fine. You know, FINE.

_2:24 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Temari**

Yo, where's Uchiha? Everyone is screeching about him right now, and since you're girlfriend's in love with him I thought you might know.

_2:25 PM_

**To: Temari**

**From: Ino**

NOT MY GIRLFRIEND. And is that really unusual?

_2:26 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Temari**

You know that's not what I meant. Tenten thinks Neji might be gay, Naruto's convinced he's a pedophile… You know. A usual school day. But seriously. WHERE IS HE.

_2:27 PM_

**To: Temari**

**From: Ino**

Yeah, whatever. Huh, yeah. Regular. What, are you turning into one of his LOYAL fangirls, too?

_2:28 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Temari**

Oh, you wish. Like hell I'm letting you have Shikamaru.

_2:29 PM_

**To: Temari**

**From: Ino**

HA! Like he'd ever pick you against me. Really? Not happening.

_2:30 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Temari**

Whatever you say, DARLING.

_2:31 PM_

**To: Temari**

**From: Ino**

I have half a mind to kick you off my squad with Karin.

_2:32 PM_

**To: Temari**

**From: Ino**

Yeah. I THOUGHT SO.

_2:36 PM_

**To: Ino**

**From: Sakura**

This is the best. EVER. Sasuke just like, came out of nowhere, and like… Yeah! It was amazing! And stuff! Sasuke came and like glared at Shika, grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of Starbucks. I swear to God, lazyass over there was smirking at me the whole time. But anyway, so like, he dragged me to the back of Starbucks and I thought he was gonna, like, RAPE ME. But he demanded why I freaked out and skipped school with Shika. So I told him flat out, Karin and Ami hurt me. He was all-I broke it off with Karin, and before I could even smile, he kissed me and I was SO HAPPY!!!! It was AMAZING!!! So Ino, we all have our happiness now. Why do I say that? Shikamaru and I were talking and he said he might ask you to the dance~~ I'll see you in our dorm later on, Pig. I love today. Like, WOAH.

_2:57 PM_

**To: Sakura  
From: Ino  
**Aw! That's awesome! And stuff! But, uh... Get back here. Please. NOW.  
_2:59 PM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**Uh. WHY.  
_3:01 PM_

**To: Sakura  
From: Ino  
**Naruto thinks he's a pedophile, Neji thinks he's gay, Tenten's freaking out, and Sasuke's fangirl want a threesome between Neji, Naruto and Sasuke.  
_3:03 PM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sakura  
**..... OMG. I'll be right there. And heyyyyy, that was at 303! I LOVE 3OH!3.  
_3:04 PM_

**To: Sakura  
From: Ino  
**By the way, tell your new boyfriend to check his inbox.  
_3:05 PM_

**To: Ino  
From: Sasuke  
**I don't know why everyone is going insane, but I blame you. But thanks.  
_3:06 PM_

**To: Sakura  
From: Sasuke  
**Uh. I know I'm right next to you, but uh... Er... Thanks...  
_3:08 PM_

* * *

I personally enjoyed writing this, really. Sorry if the formats a little fucked up, I swear it wasn't my fault! This is in the BarringtonHigh!verse, I'm SO going to write more for it. FUN. FUNNNNNNN. Kay, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!


End file.
